I definitely “feel” too much. I’ve got to stop that.

It’s better to live “in motion”. Stagnancy is like a boa constrictor round my neck. Life has been coaxed into the boat and is now moving to a new place. I’ve been attending a group on Tuesday nights to help with what is dubbed my “obsessive trait”. Thank you Jesus for hooking it up, because HELP is indeed being poured out upon me like sweet molasses. I feel like a new man, my whole life is affected. I have power over my own insanity. And that’s what it is, the old doing something repeatedly and expecting different results dance. So over it! Heavenly Father, my power comes from You and You only. You feed me, clothe me, give me the strength I need to dust myself off and walk toward the road of significance. You’re the reed that sticks out of the cliff side that I grapple with one hand, tummy in throat, eagles braying in the background like ghosts.

Jobs, school, CAR? I’m starting to wonder about the validity of actually getting a car. Whether I can look at the possibility as a good investment from any angle now. Gas prices stare me down from their metal nests upon the roadside every 15 meters or so. The cheaper place is the rare bird. The diamond in the rough! Oh, I so got Aladdin on you just then, but dig it, there’s no real way out. Someone’s got to say, “Alright.” and have a collapse. It’s us. Can’t we get it over with? I mean, how do you justify having a car? It’s thrice as expensive as it once was, not to mention (in reality) it’s a completely depreciating asset. There’s no logical merit to owning a motorized vehicle anymore. I’m not trying to rationalize not having one, mind you. It sucks, I’m stuck. People judge me. Whatever. But let’s look at the figures: gas will continue to increase until (within the next few years) people are unable to afford driving and it becomes a luxury once again. Car technology (apart from oil reliance) is going faster than the consumer can keep up with (like computers) and your car will not only be worth considerably less from a resale standpoint when you drive it off the lot, but will be significantly outdated as well. Cars are also”designed” to experience malfunctions after certain periods in order to help stimulate the part replacement and mechanic industry, and they still require investments in other fluids to run which yield no return. It’s like we’re all crazy. I think the biggest sign that we as “post-moderns” have lost our way is that we regard cars as mandatory for existence. Indeed, cities are planned and designed based on the idea that most people have units of motorized transportation. It’s alright to think this way about housing, because housing is a winning monetary investment in almost all cases, as is owning land. AUTOMOBILES ARE MONEY PITS AND ARE QUICKLY BECOMING INACCESSIBLE TO EVEN THE LOWER MIDDLE CLASS. WAKE UP.

That is only one point of my frustration on that issue, because I still feel like I need one to be socially accepted. See?

In other news, my cat MUST be neutered as soon as possible. He’s begun to mount my arm while I sleep. This can’t happen. I’m not that kind of guy. Who knew I’d desire $58 so much? I am nowhere near being a father. I’m already frustrated that my cat costs so much.

No Country For Old Men looms at the dollar theater, tempting me with its cheapness. I will probably bike it down there this week (Oh, how fun! Feel the novelty!. Car(e) to join me?

Lastly, I will close with a moment of clarity. Life is a dangerous and cantankerous business. We are increasingly separated from our fellow men and women. Remember, the buildings around you are full of people. These people are troubled. They are your brothers and sisters. They are your counterparts in reality, and indeed all you’ll ever really have. You won’t live on in the memory of your possessions, but in the memory of others and in God. And GOD LOVES YOU. GOD LOVES YOU. GOD LOVES YOU. Which is something even your troubled brothers and sisters can’t always promise.